


A Storybrooke Carol

by taintedidealist



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, tw: torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2014-04-18
Packaged: 2018-01-19 04:46:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1455898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taintedidealist/pseuds/taintedidealist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol": As Greg Mendell's interrogation of Regina reaches its heights she believes she hallucinates her deceased father. He warns of three visitors, shades, showing Regina of The Life That Was, The Life That Is, and The Life That Will Be. Will Regina learn from the shades before it is too late to reverse what she has started or will she lose her family as well as herself?  (Set during 2x21 "Second Start to the Right" veers off from canon at this point and then swings back around.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One: The Hallucination

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so very much to my beta k8eistrouble for every note, correction, and asking why. You made this story better. I needed you; even when you yelled at me, especially when you yelled at me.
> 
> And thank you to the cheerleaders, fellow writers, artists and a very HUGE thank you to the SQBB mods. This was a great exercise in getting a story finished first instead of being a perpetual work in progress. 
> 
> Thanks from this perpetual work in progress. (Tumblr: dullsharpie)
> 
>   
> **Art by** [reginamea](http://reginamea.tumblr.com).  
>   
> 

The question reverberated through the cannery. It seemed to bounce off the rusted metal walls, and Regina winced as the pain from the jolts of electricity turned into a burning ache through her muscles. 

He leaned closer, spittle flying from his lips in anger, “I’ll ask again Regina. Where is my father?”

“I don’t know.” 

She knew it wasn’t the answer he was torturing her for, and with each click of the dial she could see her fate ratcheting toward a violent and deadly ending. Regina was also aware with every minute she could string him along, it was another minute that perhaps Hook would come back. A huff of amused breath forced its way from her lungs, Hook was like her, he wouldn’t be back. 

Get what you need and move on to what you want. 

He wanted vengeance and she could respect the lengths he went to get it, but if in some way she made her way out of this quaint torture device Regina promised herself that Hook would remember her moniker of Evil Queen. 

“Don’t be that way dear.” 

Her eyes fluttered open toward the new voice. It could not be true, he was dead, she held his heart in her hand before it became the last offering of a life that could be.

“Father?”   
  
His salt and pepper hair, wispy as ever, greeted her as he stood behind Owen or Greg, whatever name he went by today. Henry Mills, Senior brushed dust from his shoulders and tugged on the bottom of his jacket trying to work out creases. 

His skin seemed translucent. It was a shimmering sort of grey; it reminded her of the old black and white movies she would watch with his namesake when he was younger. Those nights were filled with popcorn, hushed questions, and the awe of a story in motion. She too had found films to be a sort of enchantment, finally a story through a mirror Regina could not toy with, no matter how she wished to change the fates of the characters.   
  
“Yes, where is my father?” Greg asked again.

Regina squinted toward the thing wearing her father’s face, as her vision cleared he smiled at her, a sad sort of smile; the one she knew best. He wiggled fingers in a tiny wave and looked between the machine and her. His smile turned into a pained grimace.   
  
“This has an air of desperation, but also a bit of danger.” He edged closer to her and lightly patted her shoulder, “A lot like you, dear Regina.”   
  
Shaking her head Regina clamped her eyes shut again, “He is not.”   
  
Her captor’s eyebrows furrowed together believing her words were for him, “He is not what Regina?”

“Oh, I do think he took that as a negative.” The shade nodded toward Greg as he turned swiftly to the machine and the dials clicked quickly up to the higher digits. Her father’s form hummed in thought before skimming hands down wild sideburns, “I think you should pay attention to him. I’ll wait.”   
  
“Wait?” Regina asked breathlessly.  
  
“Wait?!” Greg turned abruptly and ran to the gurney, his hands grasping either side of her head, “I have been waiting while you were frozen in time, stealing happiness from any soul who had the misfortune to find themselves in your path,” his voice worked out her name through gritted teeth like an offending curse, “Regina.”  
  
He turned his palm and softly ran the back of his hand on her cheek. The demeanor switching so quickly she wondered if another charge had swept over her body. A hushed, but shaking voice called out, “You’re every dream and every nightmare I’ve ever had.” 

Finally a bit of fear trickled through her veins like ice water, “Owen, don’t-”   
  
He inched closer to her, his labored breath shifting her hair. Sweat dripped down his face, his forearm wiping quickly at his forehead. Mendell's eyes fluttered shut a moment before he refocused on Regina. His vision seemed to bounce around the erratic nature in his eyes finally matching his behavior as he fiercely whispered, “Where is my father?”   
  
“He’s dead.”   
  
Greg’s head shook back and forth as his lips pressed into a thin line. It took a moment until the noise took shape from somewhere around his heart. 

  
The wail; she knew the cry as Regina had been the cause of it often. Yet, every time it reminded her of a stable and the faint smell of freshly cut hay. Greg’s cry was the last bit of hope leaving a person. She remembered her own, a lifetime ago, was what had changed her, broke her, and made her anew. It had made her into a queen, a mayor, and maybe a monster.

 

A hand brushed her hair lightly and kind watery eyes met her own,“I’ll see you in a moment, dear.”   
  
“Father?” Regina asked. She wondered if it could be true and her father was finally here to take her home, away from the prison shaped castles and the black and white that followed her from world to world. He was grey after all, she mused right before her consciousness faded away.

***

The lights of the cannery flickered off for a moment before the power surged back on and Emma lowered her weapon. She turned to her side, eyes falling on Neal, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this…”   
  
A crooked smile peaked out from Neal’s scruffy face, “Are you quoting Star Wars?”   
  
“Really? You’re making jokes at a time like this?” Exasperated, Emma sighed as she brought the walkie talkie up to her mouth, “Any sign of her?” The static seemed deafening in the abandoned warehouse full of crates and an undeniably strong stench of fish.   
  
Neal shrugged and mumbled to himself, “I was trying to lighten the mood.”   
  
“This isn’t a night out on the town Neal, please note the gun.” Emma ground out, as she brought her arms up again and swept by the large pipes moving from the warehouse into the guts of the building,  “This is a rescue mission of Henry’s mother.” 

“Why do you keep standing up for that woman?” Neal asked, “She actively tried to kill you and your family.”   
  
Emma’s mouth drew into a thin line before answering, “Yeah, because the only person who believed in her when she needed it the most was quite literally heartless. I think you and I can both understand losing every person who saw who you really were for a moment.” She cleared her throat, “And exactly what we became when we lost them.” 

  
“I said I was sorry.” Neal offered again. 

She shook her head, “I wasn’t talking about you.” 

Neal’s brow furrowed in confusion, “Then who were you talking about?” 

The crackle of the handset came to life, “We’re approaching the area Hook last saw her, which we have Hook with us.” The lights flickered again and David’s voice broke through, “There was a scream and Emma.” He paused, waiting for instruction.  
  
“Find her David, we” she paused and swallowed. Her throat was suddenly dry, “Henry needs us to find her. I promised the kid to always protect her.” 

*** 

The sound of the beating hearts awoke Regina. A chill spread through her  Her eyes scanned the familiar masonry, and the glow emanating from the metal boxes, she was locked inside her mother’s vault. 

“It’s just terrifyingly sad that this is normal to both of us, isn’t it?” 

Regina started to sit up anticipating the aches and pains of the electricity to flow through her body, but was unnerved to find there was no pain at all. Her eyes scanned her body. She was still in the same clothes that she had been wearing in Storybrooke, but now she was back in the past. 

“I had this vault demolished after-” she paused, her throat tightening from emotion. 

“After the Doctor failed to revive Daniel,” he nodded, “to build your own where Jefferson and Frankenstein couldn’t find it.” He cleared his throat, “Well not without getting into the palace and through your guards. 

“How do you know about things which I never told you?” Regina brushed her hands down her skirt as she rose to challenge the shade, “My father never knew that I destroyed the vault.”   
  
His head cocked at her, “Oh, of course I didn’t know that darling, but we’re connected you and I.” 

“How?” Regina asked calmly, “is this some glimmer of you. A manifestation of my own thoughts as I--” her words died in her throat as Regina could not bring herself to finish the thought. 

So Henry Sr. finished it for her, “As you die? Yes, it does seem that you are perhaps dying, and right when there was such hope for you to right these wrongs.”   
  
“What are you?” she questioned, fear seeping through into her veins. 

“I’m a ghost. I’m still me, or what was myself before I wasn’t myself.” 

Regina rolled her eyes, “Now you sound like that cat from Wonderland.” 

“With a piece of you, the bits that you hide from yourself,” he sniffed, “But mostly I’m your father and I love you too much to let you continue down the path you’re set on.” 

“Death?” Regina laughed harshly.

“No, my dear. There are always fates worse than death,” his eyes, serious to a fault, caught her own. He hummed a melody she couldn’t quite place. It was familiar and it caused an aching in Regina’s chest. “You’ve dealt those fates out, as well as lived them, but you have a chance to remove the chains you’ve built around your heart my love.” 

He continued, “Break free by giving back the hearts hidden in these boxes.” His arms swept around them encompassing the vault. 

“These boxes are figments of a time that was long ago, I couldn’t save these if I tried.” Regina crossed her arms, hugging herself tighter. 

“I don’t know,” Henry Sr. hummed again, as his fingers grasped a box and pulled its contents out. Holding it up between them, the heart was white hot and bright, thrumming, and beating. His eyes crinkled shut in thought before they cracked open again, “let’s have a listen.”   
  
“That’s not how the hearts work.” Regina countered. 

“But where is she? You said you would save her!?” her son’s voice echoed through the vault. 

“Henry?” Regina called toward the heart, panicking, “Why is my son’s heart here?” 

He pulled another box from the shelf and a healthy pink heart glowed warmly as it met her eye a voice rang out, “I invited her.” Emma Swan’s voice. It was Emma. 

“No,” Regina shook her head, her voice trembling,“Mother could not pull out Emma’s heart and Henry is in Storybrooke. He’s never been in this land. What dark magic is this?”  
  
Voices chimed in from the glowing boxes around her.   
  
“Then you must marry him. I’ll go tell father right away!” a young Snow called out. A memory of the girl before everything had gone wrong.

“Thank you for being such a good friend. It’s been so lonely. I’m not used to having one.” Kathryn, they could have been friends.

“Stay strong Regina.” 

Her breath quickened as a whisper pushed out of her, “Daniel.”  The air felt as though it was growing thicker, making it difficult to breathe in the oxygen she required. Her vision started to waver, “Stop this, stop!” Regina covered her ears and backed to the door of the vault trying to get away from the voices of those she cared for ending up as if they were just another conquest. 

“Mother!” she yelled, “Mother, is this you?”   
  
The voices silenced and Regina took another shaky breath. 

Henry Sr. patted at his bushy hair trying to tame it once more, “No, it’s the path you’re on Regina. You are boxing away your memories.” He paused for a moment, “Memories and feelings of those who loved you, who you love and putting them in this vault.”   
  
“Now, that’s a fatigued metaphor.” Regina laughed sharply, trying to ignore the words of this almost man, “I don’t love Snow.” Even she didn’t believe the words.

He let out a noise of surprise, “Interesting. That’s not the one I thought you’d argue against, but it is still the same. You will be their downfall if you do not come to terms with your love.”   
  
“Daniel is dead! So are you!” Regina sharply pointed at the shade, “All my love does is destroy.”   
  
Sad eyes met hers, “You truly do believe that don’t you?”

***

The door to the Sheriff’s station slammed open and Emma’s boots tromped against the tile, reverberating sound through the empty room. 

“Hey, can you slow down for a-” Neal’s breath was haggard as he leaned down, his hands resting on his knees, “for a minute there?” 

Trying to run a hand through her hair Emma felt that the soggy mess was starting to become a ratty nest, “We don’t have time since your fiancee and her boyfriend nearly destroyed the cannery.”   
  
“Is opening a holding tank and dousing us in water really destr-” he stopped short as Emma’s glare hit him and nodded slowly, “you’re right, continue.”   
  
She flipped the rotary phone off its rest, cradling it between her shoulder and cheek as her thumb ran over the screen of her cellphone, scrolling back to the photo she had been able to snag of the license plate of the getaway car that had screeched out of her pistol’s range. “I think I have a good enough read on this to call in a BOLO on them.” 

Emma could see him worrying the inside of his cheek. He wanted to interrupt, but was desperately trying to physically stop himself. “What?” 

“It’s just,” Neal’s eyes rolled up in thought as he rubbed the back of his neck, “she’s not my fiancee anymore.”   
  
“Really?” Emma asked in disbelief, “That’s what you really wanted to get out? Your backstabbing fiancee isn’t your fiancee because she tried to toss you down a magic portal?” She held her pointer finger at him, “Which-Yes, this is Emma Swan the Sheriff of Storybrooke and I’d like to issue a BOLO on-yes I’ll wait.”

Neal looked around the office, it was quaint, with two small cells and a pen that attested to the relative calm of Storybrooke. He wondered if there was even a police force or if Emma and her father were the entirety of the law in this facsimile of a quaint fishing town. 

His eyes scanned back to Emma and he smirked, a puddle of water was starting to pool around her feet. The water and fish that had gushed toward them when Tamara opened the holding tank after her failed portal plot took them both down and had waterlogged them. He patted on his coat and could feel the weight of the water and something else too, his hand reached into his pocket and out came a petite smelt. Neal was working through a particularly good pun about smelling smelt until he realized he was being stared at by a irritated Emma. 

“Don’t even.” Emma flatly stated. 

He pushed his shoulders up, “What?”   
  
“I could almost hear the bad pun you were working on,” Emma sighed, “I’ve notified the highway patrol and the nearest towns around Storybrooke so hopefully they’ll find them and when they do.”   
  
Emma trailed off as her cell phone chirped from the desk. She looked down at it warily, swallowing down her fears as she saw _MM-Snow_ showing on the screen.   
  
“Go ahead,” Neal smiled, “Maybe they found her.”   
  
Emma took a deep breath, “I’m almost worried that’s it. I never really get good news.” 

His head dipped down for a moment, knowing that he was included in the long-line of hard knocks Emma had received in her life. Neal’s brow furrowed for a moment before picking up her phone and handing it to her, “But there’s always the hope that this time it will be.” 

“Why do you care all of a sudden?” Emma asked briskly.

Neal’s face was taut for a moment before a kind smile worked its way across his worn face, “Because you do.” 

***

The door to the vault creaked open and Henry Sr.’s arm swept in front of himself. He bowed deeply, “After you my dear.” 

Sidestepping around him Regina made haste toward the door, but saw before her the ruins of her private chambers. Pieces of shattered glass littered the floor, grinding below her heels as she moved further into the room. The sheets on the bed were ripped and ragged. She ran her hand along the bed posts and felt the chalky residue of dust. Twenty-eight years and counting could decay even the fortress she built around what once was Castle White, the prison of her past. 

The railing of the overlook was cracked from the abuse of weather and time. Rust spotted each spire of the once grand castle. He stepped next to her looking out at the wild trees, flowers, and crumbled stone. “Why do you doubt love?” he asked simply.

Regina, stalwart as ever, her hands curling around a remaining piece of the railing replied, “Because… a little thing affects it. A slight disorder of the heart makes one weak, falling for those that take all that you are--” 

A gruff noise of disagreement interrupted her treaty against love, “Now, now my child, you’re talking of love like your mother. Love always leaves something behind even when you lose it.” He gestured down to the courtyard.  
  
Regina nodded at the broken cobblestones, “I know. A hole, a blackness.”   
  
“No, a light!” Henry Sr., pointed toward the break in the curtain wall and the rays of sun filtering through. How convenient, Regina thought. “Remember your love,” he continued, “and honor it then you’ll be able to love again.” 

Regina’s eyes quickly snapped to his face,“What did you say?” Her voice trembled as Daniel’s words were echoed back at her. 

He softly touched her cheek and ran a thumb over the smooth skin, “Remember who you were to better who you are, my love.”   
  
She shook her head, looking away from the shade that seemed to become more human as the minutes passed. Clearing her throat Regina softly answered, “That girl died in a stable.” 

“Are you sure you didn’t bury the girl you were with Daniel instead?” He questioned as he turned back into the chambers, “Tried to forget her to survive your mother, as I tried to survive her for you?”   


Regina closely followed him, “You couldn’t survive me. I killed you.”   
  
His hand laid over his own chest where his heart would have been as he smiled sadly,  “And I forgive you.” Bending over Henry Sr., picked up a shard of glass. It caught the light filtering in from the cracks in the castle walls. Regina stepped closer, her reflection catching in the glass over his shoulder, fractured light like a rainbow shimmering over the surface,“ I still see her, you cannot hide her from me.” He cast a glance at her, a smile finally causing crow’s feet and deep set wrinkles Regina could vaguely remember, “She’s in your eyes.” 

She disagreed again, “She’s a shade, a glimpse of what was, just like you.” 

Dropping the piece of glass he motioned back to the vault, her vault now, emptied to travel to Storybrooke, “Maybe your mother hid you inside a box here, away from the world, as she always hid you in your youth.”   


Regina shook her head in disbelief, “That’s preposterous. I have my heart.” Her hand floated to her chest, just to be certain, and felt the erratic rhythm, “It remembers pain and anger.”  


His tongue clucked for a moment, before countering her words,  “It remembers more if only you let it. You still have joy inside of you, but if you continue down your path Regina.” His words trailed off, seemingly floating toward her.  
  
Goosebumps rose up her back, feeling like a Charming was rounding the path to the next holier-than-thou speech, “Oh, is this the lecture from beyond? One last chance at parenting The Evil Queen?”   
  
He tugged down on his waistcoat once more, a nervous tick perhaps, she wondered. Henry Sr.’s head shook lightly, “Hardly, just a warning to learn from your visitors this night.”   
  
Her eyes widened in a moment of shock, before Regina tried to place the mask back over her face, “Ah, there are more of you, is this a parade of all who I have harmed in life?” She flipped her hair, and squared her shoulders trying to prepare herself for whatever shade would follow him, “This must be a very long near-death experience.”   
  
“Who ever said it was near-death my Queen?”   
  
“What?” Regina’s eyes widened as she questioned, “Father am I-- am I dead?”  
  
He hummed lightly, “I hope not, but I fear” he pointed to the dimming of the hearts in the vault beside them, “I fear that the lives you have held in your hands are ready to crush yours.” 

She was starting to panic, “What do you mean by that?”   
  
“You will see soon enough,” his head bobbed back and forth in thought, “or you won’t.” A clock chimed and the light from the outside quickly faded away bringing a sunset through room. He turned and quickly took her hands, “Listen to the visitors three, which you will see on this night, and try to take off the chains you have wound around your heart.”   
  
Her eyes began to water ans she grasped at his hands, “But, father, what if I can’t.”   
  
“Then my dear,” his hands tightened around hers and her gaze dropped to down to their

joined hands. 

The well-worn hands melted away and Regina’s eyes bounced around the room searching, “Father?!” Her voice cracked, fear seeping through her body as she spun in a slow circle trying to find him again, “I-I wasn’t done yet, I have more questions.”   
  
Another chime rang, she counted them in succession, twelve in total. She turned back to the blood-red sky and wondered how it could be midnight, but still a sunset. 

“It does make you ponder if we’re in this realm or if it’s all in your dainty head, doesn’t it Regina?” the velvet voice caused her to roll back her shoulders, she wasn’t sure which version he would be. 

“So you’re my first visitor?” she asked calmly, trying to not betray the anxiety as she turned to watched him lean against the doorframe of the vault. His hair was cut short, in the fashion of when she first met him, the dark eyeliner and clothing made her think he was a memory of a man who helped steal her last shred of hope. But the scarf gave her pause. “Jefferson.”

  
“Mmm, yes,” he pushed off the doorway, his body moving fluidly as she had remembered him most. The portal jumper who looked for adventure and coin, 30 pieces of silver, without time long spent on ethics. He grinned, a canine glinting at her, “I do look to be a visitor. Are you ready to jump into my hat Regina?”   
  
He flipped the top hat onto his own head before a quick spin for flourish. Jefferson smiled widely a laugh bubbling out, “I promise two in and two out and no funny business.” He winked at her, his tongue peeking out as it slide along his teeth a smirk working it’s way along his face, “That’s your forte.” 

“Where are we going, Jefferson?” her voice did not match the calm her body evoked. 

He grinned and threw down the hat, it started to spin effortlessly on the floor, the portal widening, “To the life that was my dear Queen.”   
  
“It’s Regina,” she corrected without thought.

Jefferson cupped his chin, a forefinger tapping at his lips, “I knew a girl named Regina once. Gorgeous braids, brown eyes you could drown in,” a soft sigh pushed out from his lips, “sad story that one.” 

“Jefferson.” Regina barked breaking into his reverie, “Let’s jump.” 

He nodded and grasped her hand as he smiled again, “Yes, let’s.” 

***

David heard the door open and was on his feet quickly, shooting out of the bedroom toward Emma. He placed his hands on her shoulders as she tried to peek over his shoulder, “Hey, Emma just wait a minute and let me talk you through it first.”   
  
“Nope,” Emma’s arms flew up between his arms and down, breaking the hold as she side stepped him, continuing briskly from the entryway into the nook of the loft. 

She stopped short as her eyes fell on motionless Regina’s frame, she was pale, the red lipstick even more brilliant against her skin. Snow was softly dabbing a washcloth at her temples where wicked red circles screamed out. Emma inched closer, shivering, from the damp clothes she was still in, she told herself, but she knew better. Her eyes focused on Regina’s chest, waiting, simply waiting and then she saw the shallow intake of breath. 

“She’s breathing.” Emma quietly gasped. 

Snow turned toward her daughter, her eyes watery, “I’m sorry we didn’t listen sooner Emma.” 

“She’s breathing.” Emma repeated with more authority. 

Stepping from the shadows Blue looked at Regina, “It seems that is all she is doing Emma and I don’t know if she’ll ever do more.”   
  
The movement was quick and Emma’s momentum propelled Blue back toward the wall as Emma brought her forearm up underneath Blue’s chin to raise the woman’s eyes to her own, “Fix her.”   
  
A strangled voice choked through the pressure on throat, “I don’t think I can.”   
  
“Think. Harder.” Emma demanded before she let Blue go and marched off. Her boots clanging on the stairs as she ascended, “I’m taking a shower.”   
  
Neal’s hands clapped together as he tried to break the mood in the room, “Okay, well I’m going to go change as well. Meet back here in thirty? I’ll bring my Papa.” He nodded quickly, turning on his heel and left. 

“She’s hurting,” Charming stated, surprised as his gaze landed on his wife for a moment before stopping on Regina’s frail form, and nodding toward her “she’s hurting _for_ her.” 


	2. Chapter Two: The Life That Was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After taking a leap of faith with Jefferson, Regina finds herself wound through a story she was not prepared to face. Meanwhile in Storybrooke Emma finds herself on edge as she tries to find a way to wake Regina.

It was always disorientating, traveling by portal, Regina remembered as she brushed the stardust off her maroon shirt. “I still don’t understand why it has to be so messy.”   
  
“It’s just bits of the universe sticking to you, Regina.” Jefferson clucked his tongue, as if he was surprised by her comment. “We’ve been over this before.” He shook his hair and ran his hands through it; puffs of dust and sparkles emitting from his locks.   
  
“I still believe it is a ridiculous notion.”   
  
He cut her off in a huff, “Oh, because being able to jump from one world or time to another makes so much sense. Magic does not have logic.”

“Yes, it does.” Regina argued as she turned toward him. “It most certainly does have logic.”   
  
Jefferson spun on his heel and pointed toward the castle before them, “No, magic creates what it wishes and we form the logic so we do not become mad,” he giggled, throwing a look over his shoulder at his companion, “or well, like me.”   
  
Pushing at her sleeves Regina flicked a wrist at him, “I still disagree.”  
  
“Naturally.”   
  
Her eyes finally rested on the castle grounds before them. The water lapped at the boat docked in the harbor and she could feel her breath catch for a moment, “Grandfather’s castle, but it was--”

Jefferson’s bottom lip pushed out in thought before he moved his head back and forth, “Destroyed by ogres and greed and perhaps your dear old Mother, yes,” with a flourish Jefferson dipped low, his arm sweeping toward the courtyard, “magic has taken us back to yesterday.”   
  
Her eyes took in the scenery with distrust, “I don’t understand.”   
  
“Hmm,” his eyebrow arched annoyingly high in thought, “true, would be a bit anticlimactic if you already understood the lesson before it is taught.”   
  
“Must you always speak in riddles?” Regina asked dryly.

He clapped his hands together, bringing them up to his grinning face, “No, but what’s the fun in speaking clearly? You just don’t learn as well.”

***  

The knocking in the pipes reminded Emma again that buying an exposed loft with substandard plumbing was still a better welcome home than the questionable streams of an enchanted forest. She took in her haggard appearance and sighed at the mess of hair, dirt, and… she squinted in confusion. “Is  that a piece of herring?”She questioned inwardly. Her nose crinkled up in disgust, “Just perfect,” she murmured before flicking the offending piece toward the trash can.

Steam from the water began to fog up the mirror as she peeled her turtleneck and undershirt off one by one. Layers were a necessity in Storybrooke’s eternal autumn, but she had not anticipated a full workout when she woke this morning. Thankfully her clothes took most of the wear and tear of the unique crossfit training designed by Greg and Tamara’s deceit and escape. Emma tossed the offending articles toward the floor where they hit the door with a satisfying squish.

Emma took a deep breath before pulling back the shower curtain and stepping into the tub. She hissed slightly as the heat of the water sent pin-pricks over her skin reminding her what it felt to be a somewhat normal human-like temperature. She always had preferred near scalding water; it helped to clear a mind of clattering thoughts.

_Westbrook, Maine - August 1990_

Emma quickly locked the door to the bathroom and inched closer to the radio. She swallowed a couple of times trying to keep the tears at bay. She turned on the radio and was greeted by static, turning the wheel slowly to pick up any music she held her breath hoping to find something to wash away another move.

Another holding pattern, this time in a group home awaiting a foster family that had room for her. At the age of eight Emma felt that she was already too old to be adopted, she had already been in a multitude of homes that didn’t work out.

The crackle and hiss as the dial moved along the FM line was enough to remind her that she was only knew the stations in Belfast since due to her most recent move to Westbrook.

Soft drums and a piano line filtered into and reverberated around the bathroom. It was always the best place to sing. No one had ever told her to be quiet while she was in the confines of the room. It was the universal foster home time out. A tiled fortress from the outside world.

She nodded along with the lyrics, about how things would change because it would get better as a trio of voices pieced together a haunting melody. How could words holding such sadness have hope behind them?

Emma looked at her reflection, the tear tracks obvious on her face, twin parallel lines breaking through the dirt. She had been playing in the front yard on the swing when another one of the children pushed her off saying he had dibs because he had been there longer.

Emma asked how long and was shocked to hear he had been living in the home for a year. He said his social worker had given up on trying to get him adopted and he was only nine.

Brushing at her face Emma turned the faucet on and pooled the water in her hands and sang along a little off-key with the repeated message, “hold on for one more day.” She splashed the water into her face as she let out a shaky breath. Her braided pigtails were starting to fall apart, even after Michael, her social worker had fixed them in the car.

“It’ll be different next time.” Emma weakly smiled at herself drawing comfort from her clean face, “They’ll love me next time. They’ll keep me. I’ll stay.”  

_Present Day_

In her life she built up protections to get through everyday, an Emma for every occasion, they were never herself. Every morning she felt pieces click into place. A smirk to lure in philandering husbands at hotel bars. An extra hour and bottle of hairspray to befriend a tiny woman laundering money. An old pair of chunky black frames to slide next to a coder siphoning away people’s identities. Piece by piece she would put on or remove until her leather jacket slid over, a coat of arms declaring an attitude and face that she made for herself. A bail bondsperson who no one knew.  

Emma chuckled at herself, a savior who hides behind saving. The only place her chameleon's armor could ever be shed was piece by piece in the water. It was only in the shower when she would center her true self again and be allowed to feel. In the water she was finally just Emma.

The water today also conveniently hid her tears.

***

They filtered in with the commoners as they brought in wares to sell on the courtyard. Regina looked down at her clothes and winced, she would stick out so easily, “Jefferson my clothes.”   
  
He arched an eyebrow at her in question, “They’re fine, a little burnt and muddy from your playtime, but they are I mean, passable.”   
  
“Are you joking?” She fired back quickly, “I might as well be wearing a sign stating that I’m from a different world.”

Jefferson gasped in understanding, “Oh, no they can’t see you. We have a veil over us.”   
  
“Oh,” Regina responded, surprised. Her nerves calmed for a moment before she felt a wave of anxiety wash over her, “but magic can be felt by others who use it.”   
  
“Your mother?” he shook his head quickly, “It’s undetectable Regina.”   
  
She had an issue believing Jefferson, or this version of him, he seemed more like the man she first met. Charismatic and cool with an edge of playfulness, but the clothes were more modern, the scarf hiding the scar of when her mother took his head.

“You don’t have to believe me,” Jefferson’s finger waggled toward the tableau starting to unfurl in front of them, “you can believe her instead.”   
  
Her gaze swept up to a younger version of her mother, the same blood red severe smile as she nodded at the merchants and nobility roaming through the courtyard. Soon her breath caught as she heard a child’s voice, “Mother! Mother, look what the nice man gave me.”

Regina shook her head trying to make sure she was really seeing a younger version of herself. This had to be during her seventh year. She remembered the soft blue dress, she received it from her Grandfather along with her first riding boots. She had preferred the boots. Her mother had preferred locking the boots away for when she deserved to learn to ride. It took six months of good behavior and one very loud argument between her parents before they were tossed on her bed one morning with a curt order, “You’re learning to ride today. Get up.”

She had never been so happy to be ordered out of bed before daybreak.

“You really were just so precious.” Jefferson sighed placing his hand lightly over his heart, “I mean and look, you’re actually skipping.”

The soft curls fell around her younger self’s shoulders as she approached her mother with a shining toy in hand. Sunshine glinted off of the gold box in her hands flicking back onto the face of the young girl, creating freckles of gold on her cheeks.   
  
“What do you have Regina?” her mother asked as she ran her hands down her pristine gown.   
  
Regina grabbed Jefferson’s forearm, “I’d rather leave now while this is pleasant.”   
  
She hazarded a glance toward the duo as a svelte figure put an arm lightly at Cora’s waist. Her father, he looked so full of life, Regina cocked her head slightly. She never remembered him smiling with such ease as he looked down at this child; as he looked down at her.   
  
“Such adoration,” Jefferson commented, “he must have fought so hard for you.”

  
Regina’s eyes turned slightly to catch the honesty in her companion’s face before looking back at the moving memories of her family, “Until he could not fight anymore.”   
  
“It’s too bad others fought harder for you,” Jefferson’s voice was cold and she took in a breath to ask who he meant before she heard the slap of a hand and tears started to pool in her eyes.

“Look Regina, you missed something before.”   
  
“I do not need to see this again, I lived it.” Regina said through gritted teeth.

Jefferson smiled kindly, his hand raising to her face as he wiped away a tear, “she can’t touch you.”   
  
Her father stepped between Cora and the now crying young girl. He kneeled in front of Regina and kissed her lightly on the forehead before turning back to his wife, “Cora, what came over you?”   
  
Cora spit out her words, “Do you see this _toy_ he gave her?”   
  
He took the small trinket from her. The glittering box had a criss-crossing pattern on it, put when the lock was pressed it opened to show a glowing heart inside. It must have been enchanted to hold the same beating as a human heart. Henry smiled at the comfort he felt wash over him; the warmth and a sense of contentment. He felt love.   
  
“It’s magic?” he asked, pulling his daughter into his side as she clutched at his pants.

Cora snatched it back, “he is trying to steal her from me. We had a deal.”   
  
“A deal?” Regina whispered as she watched her past continue in front of her, “Rumpelstiltskin was already manipulating my life when I was a child.” She didn’t know why it surprised her, she was always the toy tossed between Gold and her mother.   
  
“Now, now,” Jefferson clicked his tongue, “focus on the positive here.”   
  
“That would be?” Regina roughly asked.  
  
Jefferson nodded back to the courtyard as her father kissed her forehead again before turning to follow her mother back into the palace.   
  
A boy covered in bits of hay and dirt edged toward her, “Are you okay my lady?”   
  
Sniffing the young Regina wiped at her eyes and nodded as the boy bent down to get a better look at her face. “Do you want to see the colt we brought for the King today?”   
  
His floppy brown hair got in his eyes so he shook the bangs back and mimicked a horse’s neigh.   
  
The peal of laughter from the girl made him smile widely.   
  
“See your highness, today is still as pretty as your blue dress and as smart as you.” The boy smiled warmly, “My name is Daniel.” He bowed with a wobbly flourish learned from being at court, but never a part of it.  

“I’m Regina.”   
  
The breath wouldn’t come. Regina grabbed at Jefferson’s hand, “He’s so young.”   
  
He leaned into her and whispered, “So are you.”  
  
She shook her head, disagreeing, “I was.”   
  
Jefferson hummed in thought, “We’ll see.”

***

The taps groaned in protest as Emma turned them off slowly. Her forehead leaned against the cool tile as she let out a shaky breath.

Her life was in a rewind, as she thought about how she came to be some sort of philosophical Savior in the town of Storybrooke; a town of fairytales and dreams that didn’t quite come true. Now with Regina comatose in the bed and a curse nearly reversed, but a curse that seemed still to have only broken halfway. Emma thought back on how she got to this supposedly sleepy town in Maine.

A wobbly trail of men that led her to Regina’s doorstep.

First there was August’s abandonment and manipulation of her life from infancy. Next, Neal expertly leading her into right into a jail cell because he was too scared to fight against a touted prophecy.  

She became a bail bondswoman. Which she only became to chase the memory of a boyish man who put her in jail.

But then came Henry.

The boy who escaped her fate. Her son who found a family and then took her to a town that could give her what she always had hoped for, a home.

***

Purple swirls announced their arrival as the hat continued spinning, even after they had started to tumble down the grassy hill. They were merely a tangle of limbs attempting somersaults until Regina landed soundly into Jefferson’s backside.

His giggle filtered through air. The musicality of Jefferson’s chittering mimicked the nearby birds swooping through the skies before landing on the roof the stable.

“Are we?” she stammered, losing her voice momentarily, “Are we home?”

Smoke rose from the quaint groundskeeper cottage and Regina had to stop herself from rubbing at her own eyes. The poles for the jumping course were slightly worn and she felt her heart clench. This escape from court was where most of the memories of her happiness in this land resided.

“Well, technically this is a pasture,” Jefferson huffed as he picked grass out of his hair as his nose wrinkled in disgust, “a smelly one too.”

She swatted at his arm, “We’re near the mills. You’re smelling the manufacturing.”   
  
“I’m fairly certain I’m smelling manure,” sneered Jefferson.

Rolling her shoulders back Regina stalked off toward the stables, “Well you are standing in a rather large pile.” A slow smile swathed across her face as she heard the retching of her guide.

The doors to the stables softly protested as her hands wrapped around the knotty wood, she used her shoulder to lean into motion and felt the door give. Sun filtered through the stalls as dust kicked up by the horses brought a dreamlike haze to the barn. A neigh soon greeted her as Regina moved swiftly feeling the years melt away in a moment, “Delfina?” she marveled as her hand pressed against the velvet muzzle. The mare’s mouth worked against her palm searching for a treat and Regina smiled warmly, “Oh my, I did not bring an apple or a sugar cube for you did I friend?”

“Regina?”

“Daniel,” she mumbled as the mare nudged her lightly causing her weight to shift so she would not fall to the ground. Her eyes scanned the area quickly looking for an escape route. She glanced back at the mare, catching her wide brown eyes and whispered, “You have to trust me okay?”

Delfina let out a snort of air and raised her head up and down.

Soft applause brought her attention to Jefferson propped up on the stall, “Did you forget that he won’t be able to see you?”   
  
Her brow furrowed, “But Delfie.”   
  
“Is so much more observant of wrinkles in time than mere humans.” he acknowledged as he pulled out an apple and brushed it on his jacket. Meanwhile the horses’ ears moved back and forth before a soft hoof pawed at the ground. “Oh, fine, have at it.” Jefferson offered the apple to the mare who took it gingerly from his hand. He glanced back at Regina in a huff, “I was going to eat that.”   
  
“You’re not real.” she remarked.  
  
His mouth opened for a moment, closed, and then he beamed at her widely, “Who is to say the apple was real either, but Ole Delfie seems to enjoy it.”

Regina’s eyes began to roll at the absurdity of Jefferson until she heard him enter the stable. Daniel looked so young and so very alive, a moving memory, he led a young colt toward a stall as he glanced around. His eyes seemed to dance around the spaces in search or something or someone. Dirt caked his cheeks, most likely from mucking the stalls earlier. He was so very common and so very perfect. She held her breath as a loud crack followed by obnoxious crunching pulled her out of her concentration.

“I just don’t get it.” Jefferson gnawed on the end of a carrot, “Was it the musk or just that he was there?”   
  
Regina scoffed, “He was kind.”   
  
A contemplative hum reverberated, “So were you,” he acknowledged.

“Am I not now?”   
  
Wagging the carrot at her, Jefferson’s eyes narrowed, “We’ll see.”  

“There you are!” Daniel hurriedly whispered, reaching out as a delicate hand grasped at his.

Regina’s eyes scanned back toward the youthful and bright version of herself in a lilac riding coat. Her braids were carefully planned, most likely drawn and given to her handmaiden to try to catch an eye, but continue to be practical. She could see the nerves within this past self.   
  
“Daniel, I thought you forgot.” the voice breathy with a slight stutter was before her.  
  
“She’s scared, of him?” Regina asked herself.  
  
Jefferson nodded though and answered, “It did seem that he held what could break you.”   
  
She glanced at her guide momentarily before looking back at the blind love. A first love, innocent on what another month held for them. “He held my heart,” she answered calmly.   
  
“You used to give it so easily Regina. What changed?” he inquired thoughtfully.   
  
A sneer graced her face as she turned on this portal jumping apparition, “You know.”   
  
“Yes,” he jumped down from the stall as the stall melted around them like a chalk drawing. Suddenly they were in a great hall, which held memories of solitude among a crowd. “It looks so sparkly before your avant garde designs, do you think?”

She cast her gaze toward the grand table, the fear on a young woman’s face as the glasses were raised for a toast.   
  
The tears swelled in her eyes as she looked over the cast of characters at the table. A disinterested King, a cunning mother, a distraught father, an overjoyed young girl, and a young woman trying to understand how to keep herself pieced together.   
  
“Why am I here?”   
  
Jefferson spun, “Oh, to see how you started to wall up your heart. Harden it after every toast, toughen up the skin as the girl looks toward you-”   
  
“Snow was a selfish brat.” Regina snapped.   
  
He boxed her cheeks, leaning in, “You so do resemble your mother in these moments.”   
  
Regina shook his hands away from her head as he motioned back to the table for her to take in the muted scene of her wedding feast.   
  
“I do not blame you. We all have to find a way to survive, to cope, to live.”

***

“You’re alive!” Emma smiled as she quickly jogged down the staircase. Regina gingerly sat up in bed and firmly pushed Snow off of her as she refused the washcloth as an offensive violation of trust, or perhaps an abhorrent invasion to her makeup, Emma wasn’t sure which. “I’m so relieved,” Emma stammered before quickly catching herself, “I mean, Henry will be so relieved that you’re awake.”

“Swan?”

Emma’s eyes snapped open. She rubbed at her face trying to brush the sleep away and instead found a patch of drool on her cheek. The pirate’s figure, his stiff leather duster, and permanent five o'clock shadow loomed over her, intruding into her personal space. “Is he here?”

Hook cleared his throat again, his eyes darting to the ground as his eyebrow arched, “I would like to note that while I am saddened that you seem to have dressed.”

“Not amused.” Emma sighed in irritation, “Is he here?”

A short nod, “Aye, the Crocodile is here.”

“Why can’t people just have one name?” Emma grunted as she pushed past him.

He turned, “Well, I suppose it just makes a better story if there are-“ he paused as he noticed her hand clenching into a fist at her side, “right, a quiet pirate is a healthy pirate.”

The clanging of the metal stairs announced her arrival and Emma surveyed the room. It was a veritable smorgasbord of pulsing testosterone. David seemed to be spinning his broad sword very pointedly at Neal before rolling his neck and shoulders. She chuckled, a dimple peaking out before she hid it away. His protective father act came a little too late, but she appreciated it all the same.

Mary Margaret inched out of the alcove and allowed a grim smile toward her.

“Has she-“

“No,” Mary Margaret interrupted, “Just some incoherent noises here and there.”

Emma glanced over at the still body of Regina,  her shirt seemed darker than before, “She’s not,” paused not wanting to finish her thought, “her shirt it’s-is it blood?”

“Oh, honey no, she’s sweating,” Mary Margaret’s hand touched her forearm and moved in a comforting manner, “I guess we could change her clothes.”

Emma nodded, “I have a shirt of hers upstairs, but I don’t-“

“Excuse me dearies, but if you’re done talking about dressing your paper doll,” Mr. Gold tapped his cane on the floor before motioning to Regina, “ I’d rather get to the business .”

Taking a deep breath Emma tried to center herself, “Okay, how do we wake her up?”

“Ah yes, you see we don’t.” He nodded a couple of times.

Neal’s scratchy voice raised alarm, “Papa, you said that-“

“I said I’d try my best and whatever is happening to Regina. It’s beyond my purview.”

Emma growled and slammed her hands on the kitchen island, “What is the use of having this magic if it can’t do anything?”

“Now, now Emma. I said it is beyond my abilities.” An eerie smile cut across Rumpelstiltskin’s face, “I did not however, say it was beyond yours.”   
  
“I like that even less.” Emma added with a groan.

***

“I do not want to be here.” Regina roared at Jefferson.   
  
“Oh, but Your Majesty,” he turned in a slow circle as his arm swept across the bedchamber, “the angular lines, the mirror, and the balcony. I mean just look at the view.”   
  
Her gaze turned toward the small figure standing at the railing, a light shift blowing in the breeze. She could not help the sad smile that etched on her face, this was after she had lost Tink. No, after she had thrown away another person who tried to get behind the wall.

Jefferson leaned toward her conspiratorially his forefinger resting on his lips, “Is it me or are you shrinking?”

“I still had memories.” Regina.

He nodded, “Yes, but this is where you started to really build her wasn’t it?”

“Build her?” Regina turned toward Jefferson before glancing back at herself.

“The Evil Queen,” he offered easily, “Towering heels and extraordinary hair with a layer of The Hatter, The Imp, The Doctor, and finally The Mother. You lost yourself, Regina, in pieces of those who helped to box you away.”

The anger started to build as her jaw clenched, “You each designed me, like some doll to pull along on strings.”   
  
“Ah, we know you clipped my strings long ago,” his eyes held a sense of sympathy and a curt nod as he repositioned his scarf, “But yes, I played my part, was paid my coin, and honestly I would like to think the fashion sense came from me.”   
  
“Don’t flatter yourself.”   
  
“Maybe just my flair for accessorizing?”   
  
“Jefferson I’m not this girl anymore.”

Regina turned to see a kind watery smile and bushy auburn hair were in Jefferson’s sleek place. “Dr. Hopper?”   
  
“Let’s get you home, okay Regina?” his raspy voice was a comfort.  
  
Regina squinted at him, “Storybrooke?”  
  
A bright laugh greeted her as he re-situated his glasses, “Why, where else would we call home Madam Mayor?”   
  
He offered an arm and Regina gingerly took it. Her eyes watered for a moment and she smiled softly, “Then home we shall go.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Art by** [reginamea](http://reginamea.tumblr.com).  
> 


	3. Chapter Three: The Life That Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a new guide at her side Regina finds out what Storybrooke really thinks of her while she's sleeping.

She grasped onto his arm tightly as she felt the ground materialize around them. Regina cracked her eyes open and peered at the exposed brick walls and large reclaimed wooden table. They were in the loft. Emma and Snow’s loft.  “We’re back,” Regina stated calmly waiting for the trick.   
  
Her answer was a kind smile as Archie patted her forearm, “Well, yes we are back in Storybrooke.”   
  
Regina’s brow furrowed, “But it is the past?”   
  
“Well,” his voice cracked as it climbed into a high register, “no, we’re in the present it’s just-”   
  
She didn’t wait for him to finish the sentence and bolted from his side quickly reaching for the door, but stopped at the sound of a loud thud behind her. Regina turned to see blonde hair splayed over the farm table and chuckled through her question, “Really, Miss Swan?” 

A loud groan from Emma answered her quickly. 

Regina opened her mouth to toss another barb at the obviously frustrated form lightly bouncing her head against the table in a syncopated rhythm. 

“I can’t do this.” Emma’s voice trembled slightly as David crouched beside her, his hand reaching up to lightly push hair behind Emma’s ear. 

His head tilted as Regina watched earnest eyes searching for his daughter’s own. “Do you need a moment?”   
  
“No!” Emma barked as she raised her head and pointed toward the alcove, “I need her to wake up. It’s so-just typical Regina.”   
  
Again, Regina took a deep breath to defend herself before she felt Archie tap on her shoulder, “They can’t, um, hear us. We’re here, but we’re not,” he motioned around the room widely, “here.” 

Rolling her eyes at the absurdity Regina sneered, “I resent being a two-bit character in an episode of ‘This Is Your Life’.” 

“Oh,” Archie shook his head, “Oh, no they were guests.”   
  
Arching an eyebrow at him Regina curtly replied, “I’m sorry?”

“In ‘This Is Your Life’ the central figure was a guest, not a character.” He smiled nervously, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed quickly, “just to clarify.” 

“Noted,” Regina murmured, the words barely making it through pursed lips. She flicked her wrist back at the father-daughter scene before them, “I guess we should return to the regularly scheduled program then, shall we Doctor?”

Charming reached out to cup Emma’s cheek and wipe away a tear of frustration, “I can definitely say this is not typical Regina.” He smiled warmly, “Typical Regina would already be awake and snipping at us to find the man who did this to her.”   
  
“Boy,” Emma corrected, “She’d probably call him a boy or coward, something that cuts.”   
  
Nodding Charming found himself chuckling, “She did always have an impressive vocabulary. I think she called me a brainless and loathsome sheeps-pen smelling prince once.”   
  
“Oaf of a prince,” echoed Snow and Regina simultaneously.   
  
Snow slowly approached from the alcove and ruffled his hair, “That was one of my favorites. I could tell she liked you at that point.” 

Shaking her head Regina snorted, “I never liked him. I loathed him.”   
  
“Ah,” Archie clapped, “part of the nickname.” 

Inching toward the room Snow popped out of, “It was a long descriptive insult, nicknames are shorter.” 

“It was a step up from being referred to as that.” David shrugged.  
  
Regina pointed back at Charming and nodded, “See now ‘that’ is a nickname, short concise, memorable.” 

“Any change?” Emma asked hopefully. 

Snow’s lips pressed together in a grim line, “No, I’m sorry Emma she’s just... asleep.”   
  
The rickety chair pushed from the table with a loud scrape on the floor Emma nodded, “Okay, well I should tell Henry,” she paused her hand whirling in the air as if it was searching for, “something, right?”   
  
“Are you sure you don’t want to try again,” Snow pushed up on her toes as she leaned toward Emma. “Maybe just one more time.” 

Grabbing at her dark black pea coat Emma slid it on quickly, “I tried what Gold said to do, focus on Regina, on fixing her, putting the pieces back together.” Her arm moved slowly behind her flicking her hair out from under the thick material. She opened the door and shook her head in defeat, “I never was good at puzzles.” 

The door clicked shut behind her and Regina looked back at Snow as David wrapped his arms around her. “It’s interesting isn’t it?” Snow pondered.   
  
“What?” Charming asked as he dropped a kiss on her forehead.   
  
Snow glanced back at her bed, and surveyed Regina’s form, “Emma’s scared.”   
  
“Of telling Henry?”   
  
“No,” Snow shook her head as a small smile worked its way across her face, “she’s afraid of losing Regina.”   
  
His eyes narrowed in confusion, “And we’re happy about this?”   
  
“What is she even blathering on about?” Regina snapped and glanced at Archie in question as he placed a finger on his lips motioning for quiet.   
  
Snow’s brow furrowed in thought, “I think we are, it’s why Emma has to be the one to wake her.”   
  
“No.” Regina’s clipped tone continued, “No, this is science.”   
  
“No, you mean-”   
  
Snow patted Charming’s chest lightly, “I don’t think so, not yet, but she’s her hope. Emma is Regina’s hope.” 

“This is ridiculous.”  Regina turned to her guide, “and what type of a soothsayer are you anyways? Jefferson wouldn’t shut up and you barely talk.”   
  
He merely stared back at her raising his eyebrows in question.   
  
“Oh, is this the shrink thing? You just sit there and count to twenty and wait for me to analyze myself. I can do silence. I lived it.” Regina sniped back at the stalwart man. 

Archie wiggled his nose, working his glasses around, “Why do you prefer silence Regina?”  
  
She watched the duo sit at her bedside. Snow dipped a washcloth in a basin of water before wringing it out and dabbing at the still version of herself’s forehead. Charming reached for a hand and laced his fingers in it. Turning her gaze back to Dr. Hopper she stated clearly, “It’s what I know.” 

He shrugged, “looks like you could know more, don’t you think?”   
  
Regina crossed her arms, “I think I preferred Jefferson.” 

*** 

She pulled the lapels of her coat up trying to cut the wind from slicing down her neck as easily. The crunch of Emma’s boots on the walkway, she hoped, would announce her arrival for Henry. Ruby had pointed toward the castle from the roadside bench and noted he had been in the fortress of solitude for over an hour. She had said her only clue that he was still awake and hiding out in the turret was the juice box projectiles coming from the tower.   
  
“Hey kid,” Emma called, digging her hands further into her pockets as she crossed into the play castle her feet started to feel the bounce of the recycled tires. " Safety first.” Emma could almost hear Regina detailing the specs of the playground. Glancing at the sharp angles of the tower she snorted in amusement. If you fell onto the ground it would catch you, but the tip tops of the towers could poke an eye out. 

She circled the tower, her neck craning, “Henry are you up there?” She waited for an answer and rolled back and forth on her heels, “I was hoping we could talk for a bit.”   
  
“Adults say that when the talk is bad.” his voice was resolute, sure of what was to come. 

The steps up to the parapet were revealed and Emma tested her weight on the first, before pressing forward, “I’m coming up okay?”   
  
Another span of silence greeted her before she saw a mess of unkempt hair and a wavering chin pop around the corner, “Okay, you’ll have to crawl in though.” 

Emma muttered to herself, “Of course this is fun-sized for kids.”   
  
“It’s a play castle, what did you expect?” Henry asked briskly.   
  
It was in these moments Emma could almost see Regina’s features gracing his face as it did his attitude, “A little less sass, please.”   
  
“Sorry,” Henry tentatively caught her eyes before looking away, “I’m mad.”   
  
Emma curled her legs up trying to reach any semblance of comfort in the tower next to Henry, “Just mad?”   
  
His shoulders jerked quickly, “I don’t know maybe something else, but I’m mad at her.”   
  
“Your mom?” Emma checked softly.   
  
Henry snapped a twig, he nodded refusing to look back in Emma’s direction. 

“Why are you mad at her kid?” 

Henry tossed the bits of wood out of the small opening, “Why didn’t she fight more? Neal said she won’t wake up.”

She felt her jaw tighten in anger, when she told Neal to check on Henry while she tried to go-go-gadget magic Regina awake Emma thought he had enough sense to not broach the subject. “Oh, she fought Henry. She fought really hard. She’s still fighting.”   
  
He looked at her again, his chin wobbling, “Why can’t I see her?”   
  
“It’s better if we have less people in her space.” Emma supplied weakly.   
  
Tears brimmed in his eyes as he shook his head, “I didn’t mean it. I-when I-” he stammered and wiped at his face with the back of his hand, smearing dirt on his cheek, “I love her Emma, she’s my mom.”   
  
Pulling him to her Emma sighed, “I know kid. She knows.”   
  
“Does she?” Henry asked, the question muffled in Emma’s coat.   
  
Emma rested her chin on the top of his head, “Well let’s go tell her, just in case okay?”   
  
She could feel his head nodding against her coat in agreement as she rubbed wide circles on his back. “Yeah, okay.” 

At the foot of the castle wall Regina glanced over at Archie, “I just continue to bring pain to the ones I love.”   
  
“Regina,” Archie calmly drew her attention from the duo passing in front of her marching toward the worn-down Beetle, “Is that what you heard?”   
  
She parroted his words back at him, “What did you hear?”   
  
He sighed, “I thought I heard love.”   
  
“Loving me only brings pain.” Regina quickly clarified.

Archie hummed in thought for a moment before offering his arm again to his companion, “Nothing is perfect Regina.”

She studied him, taking in features that so closely mimicked a man who many still viewed as a wise conscience before stating plainly, “At times pain can be.”

***

They jolted awake when the hefty door slammed in the loft Snow raised her head slowly from Regina's side wishing for an annoyed glare to be staring back at her and demanding to know why she was trapped in a poorly written Hallmark movie. As she studied Regina's face the only facet that seemed to have changed was the cold sweat beading on her brow.

"Any change?" Emma asked under her breath as she tossed her gloves on the edge of the bed. Emma's eye line first resting on her, then David's sleeping form, before settling back on Regina with that bit of hope Snow had mentioned before. 

Snow sat back in her chair, a frown of worry etched across her face, "No, I'm sorry to say the only thing that has changed is your father's meaning of personal space." 

Looking back at David as she pulled off coat and folded it in half, hugging it closer to her chest, "He does seem to be snuggling into her doesn't he?"

A small smile of amusement passed over both of their faces as Snow replied, "He always burrowed in when he slept." 

Emma took a longer chance to study the tableau before her. Charming had wrapped up Regina's hand in his own, then pulled her arm in toward his face to cuddle into and was nestled into the crook of a decidedly less severe version of the former Evil Queen's neck.

"I hate everything about this." Regina's voice cut through the bubblegum and lollipop rays of sunshine which in no doubt would grace this joke.

A bark of laughter burst out of Emma, "She would hate everything about this." 

Snow looked back on the still sleeping duo, "I don't know, I mean he is really comfy." 

"I bet she is too," Emma sighed before catching herself, "you know since David's auditioning  as the understudy for Sleepy right now." 

A muffled sleep-laced voice added to the conversation, "I can hear you, you know." 

"Oh, really," Emma leaned down toward David's face, "how about you get up?" 

He nestled closer into Regina's shoulder, "Five more minutes." 

"David," Snow's voice slid in melodically, "that's not me. You do know that right?"

Inching back slowly Charming cracked his eyes open and he smiled bashfully at Emma and Snow, "I did not." He took a deep breath before letting out a surprised huff of air. 

"What?" Snow asked. 

"How does she still smell so nice after being in the cannery?" 

Snow threw up her hands, "I'm going to ignore that and go check on Henry." Standing up she motioned toward the steps leading to the second floor, "Is he changing?" 

"Nah," Emma shook her head, "He just needed a minute before saying hi. I think we both were hoping for a really annoyed Regina." 

Charming pouted, "I think she would have enjoyed-" he stopped himself as he seemed to realize something, "this coma may have saved my life."

Calling over her shoulder the smile in Snow's voice held a sense of mirth, "I think it would have been cute."

"What?" Charming bellowed after her.

Turning back Snow shrugged, "Whatever woodland creature she would have turned you into." she winked before turning back and gingerly walking up the stairs.

Emma laughed to herself as David raised an eyebrow at her in question, “Oh, I mean let’s be honest it probably would have been a frog, right?”   
  
“Nah,” David shook his head, “it’s been done before. We both know she’s more creative than than a frog.” 

Archie ran his hand down his sweater vest, "What do you think Regina?" "

"Well, he’s not wrong," Regina commented, "he would have been cute, maybe a chipmunk or a puppy with floppy ears."

"Regina," Archie scolded, "are you really not seeing what you could have?" 

She squinted in thought before answering, "Overly affectionate nursemaids with no sense of tact or propriety?"

"Very well Regina, very well." Archie sighed.

They both looked back as Emma she sat down by the sleeping Regina's side. She rolled her fingers into her palm forming one loose fist, repeating it with her other hand as she took a deep breath. Her gaze dropped back to Regina's form and refocused her attention on the details of the unmasked face before her. 

"What are you doing?" Charming asked lightly as Emma quirked an eyebrow in response he pointed at her hands. 

Emma's lips formed a thin line as she shrugged, "It's what Regina does when she is getting ready to do magic." 

He nodded in thought, "But what do you do when you're getting ready to do magic?"

It was a simple question and David watched her face as she froze, stumped, "I mean," he offered softly, "maybe that's why it's not working. You're trying to be Regina when what she needs is for you to be you."

"Just be me?" Emma asked incredulously. 

He shrugged, "It's a thought." 

Regina watched them and felt a tingle work its way across her skin, she had goosebumps, as she nodded with David's idea. She murmured to herself, "Maybe the Charming genes are more than beautiful hair and empty platitudes."

A smile popped up on Archie's face for a moment before the scene was broken by blue sparks that fizzled like a sparkler, bright and showy before fading out. 

Emma's frustrated hand swept through her blonde waves. She pointed erratically at the bedroom as if the entire space was contributing to her sputtering magic. Emma grunted, "No, she needs Gold! He's holding out on us." 

"Sweetie," David tried. 

"No," Emma pointed at him, "No nicknames, no pet names."

Regina finished her thought for her, "Just Emma." 

She grabbed her coat off the bed and stormed out of the room, "I'll be at the pawnshop." 

"Follow her," Regina turned toward Archie, "We need to follow her." 

Archie crossed his arms in front of himself, "Why do you care Regina?" he questioned.

"I just do," she spat back before biting through her next words, "Follow. Her." 

Offering his arm slowly Archie nodded, "So we shall." 

***

The air felt thick as they apparated into the backroom of the shop and Regina clutched at Archie, her fingernails digging into his crisp white dress shirt. She had not been back since her mother had died in her arms. Her tongue peeked out wetting her lips, "Where are they?" she asked quietly, unable to take her eyes off the place on the floor when she truly became an orphan. 

"I don't give a shit!" reverberated through the room from the front portion of the building. 

Regina's forefinger tapped toward the entryway, "I believe I have deduced they are in the shop part of this antiquated nightmare." 

Nodding Archie agreed, "I think that's a good bit of logic."

She knew better, but Regina thought this guide had just tried to land a joke. Life did always have a sense of humor; it was just usually much more cruel in its punchlines. 

"Calm yourself Miss Swan." Rumpelstiltskin repeated as he brushed the top of the counter, now littered with shards of a vial. 

Neal nodded in agreement, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously, "Yeah Emma," his words so mumbled it sounded as if the second syllable of her name was too strenuous, "I didn't tell Henry on purpose he was asking questions and I-"

"He's a child Neal," she butt in quickly and ferociously, " you aren’t allowed to answer questions or discuss anything important. You let his parents handle the tough conversations. Avoid and distract Neal; you’re good at that." 

Holding his hands up in surrender Neal took a step back, "Hey now, last time I checked I was a parent too." 

“No.” Emma shook her head in disagreement, "you're a new person who just  happens to be blood related to the kid. It doesn’t make you a parent. You have to earn it; just like I’m trying to." 

His brow crinkled in thought, eyebrows pushing together in an unasked question. 

"Yes?" she prompted.

"It's just," he stammered licking at his lips and then pushing them together in contemplation, "you said parents. If that's not you and I." He trailed off, unsure of how to ask if it was more than just for Henry’s sake this overblown hero complex of Emma’s he witnessed in the cannery. It seemed too convenient to hide behind Henry and the Savior business, when Neal wondered if really she was hiding from-

"Regina and I," Emma quickly answered pulling him from his thoughts. She nodded, her eyes skittering over to Gold smiling wickedly at her and then back to Neal who avoided her gaze now, "I mean mostly Regina and I'm getting there, but he's not a puppy Neal. You can't just decide to adopt him because he's cute." 

She shook her head, her hair billowing out around her shoulders before settling back in place, "Anyway that's not why I'm here. Something's wrong. I can't wake her." 

"Hmm," Gold thought, pulling out a cloth and softly polishing silverware, "Maybe she's not ready." 

Regina scoffed, "I'm not ready to wake up?" 

Emma ground out similar at the same time, "She's not ready to wake up? I'm busting my ass over there," she motioned back to the loft, "and what, she hasn't made us feel enough already?" 

"What did she say?" Regina gasped in wonder. 

Archie patted her arm lightly, comforting her, "Let her get there." 

"Made you feel?" Gold questioned in amusement, "What are you feeling Savior?" 

Throwing her arms up in the air Emma laughed roughly, "This entire town is one big shrink experiment."

Gold pushed his lips out, contemplating her words, "Perhaps, but magic is about feelings dearie. What does she make you feel?"

Regina watched the blush move up Emma's neck as she glanced around the room full of knick knacks and ground out, "A lot of things." 

He continued questioning her, "What's the strongest? Resonates the most?"

Emma shook her head, "Frustration?" 

"Not quite." 

"Fine, irritation." 

Gold waggled his finger at her, "Now you're just lying." 

Emma looked down at her shoes, her hands worrying together trying to wring out an answer. A true answer to herself, "She makes me ache. I just ache when I'm around her." 

"Naturally, pain, again, always pain," Regina's hand rubbed at her temple in defeat.

Leaning forward, his hands pressed against the counter Rumpelstiltskin whispered, "What do you ache for Emma?"

Regina watched as Emma glanced toward Neal an apology on her face that she couldn't understand. He nodded at her and smiled, "It's okay," he offered emotion choking his words. 

"I ache for her," Emma's eyes glistened with unshed tears, "I need her." 

Folding up the handkerchief neatly Gold nodded, "I think she might be ready to wake up after all Emma, you best try again." 

Turning on her heel Emma sprinted out of shop and Regina felt a tear fall on her own face, "Follow her," she quietly begged. 

She waited for the arm to be offered and the room to twist out of sight,but instead a gold flecked hand grab her own. 

"Now, now dearie..." the high-pitched cackle filled her with dread, "we can't be flying about willy nilly when you still have to learn your lesson."

The hood was pulled up tightly and she nodded, "Where do we go?" 

"Ah," the hands flickered around in a bit of a flourish, "that would **_be_** the life that will be." The caped figure leaned in, "And oh my is it interesting." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Art by** [reginamea](http://reginamea.tumblr.com).  
>   
> 


	4. Chapter Four: The Life That Will Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hooded figure shows Regina The Life That Will Be

The leaves littered the ground as Regina walked beside the new guide at dusk, "Where is everyone?" she asked.

Marco's sign was off its hinges, creaking back and forth, the town felt like everyone had faded away. Her heart started beating faster as the panes to Game of Thornes window had shattered leaving jagged edges on the sidewalk, "Are they -- did they go back to the Enchanted Forest?" Regina stumbled over her words as anxiety raised.

The picket fence surrounding Granny's diner paint had faded making her wonder how many years had passed in Storybrooke; was it five or perhaps ten years.

Cars lined the sides of Main Street parked in parallel perfection, but were starting to rust through the paint. Tires were flat from disuse and seemed more like a junkyard of motor vehicle history. No one was coming back for them.

"Ah, no," fingers danced in front of her, regaining her attention, to direct a story, "see Mendell actually set off that _brilliant_ fail safe of yours and well-- fail safe, interesting word right?"

Side comments Regina sighed to herself, always another story within a story.

Regina watched as the cloaked arms waved around frenetically, "Because it's a failure of safety, very rarely is a fail safe a happy thing."

"What happened, did Emma save them?" Regina swallowed slowly her mind grasping onto her belief in The Savior.

A trilling laugh, "Well no, she wasn't able to wake you in time. Hook crashed through in his one and only outfit warning of the trigger, but only you understood it. Without you well-"

The words trailed off and Regina looked up to see her mausoleum, the Mills family mausoleum before her. "What happened to Snow and Charming, they always find a way?" she asked shakily.  

"Hmm," with a flick of a wrist the shade continued, "the happy ending didn't really find them here." A short burst of laughter as it laughed at its own joke, "Just a final ending I'm afraid."

Regina shook her head in disbelief after years of trying to achieve a final moment of revenge her breath felt taken from her. "It wasn't supposed to happen like that.." she said quietly to herself.

"It was a truly spectacular ending. Grand statements of love as they joined hands with a broad sword entering the mix." The gold-flaked hands waved around, conducting a symphony of memories. "As magical as true love is with those two it doesn't hold a candle to a death curse from a pilfered wand."

"You?" Regina accused, "what threat did they pose to the town, or to you?"

"Now, now dearie," the guide turned back to the crypt, "they were just in the way."

Regina felt the anger pulsing through her as she watched the cloaked figure almost dancing before her family's resting place. "Of stopping the trigger?"

A slim pointer finger jutted out from the sleeve, "No, no, they were protecting you from Rumpelstiltskin. You would have seen that final win in your favor if you merely opened your eyes Regina."

Those idiots.

They gave their life to save her own.

They should have run, thought Regina.

They all should have left her.

"They wouldn't do that, it's just not their motif Regina."

She looked back at the hooded figure, "Can you hear my thoughts?"

"I am The Dark One, dearie," she could feel the sickening smile in his voice, "I can see the future. Hear bits of what you want to say whispered on the winds before you say them. You still haunted me even when you slept."

Regina rolled her shoulders back and tried to control her thoughts around the imp, "Why are we here?"

"Oh," the voice raised up into a nasal register, "you'll have to go inside for your answers there Your Majesty."

Regina pushed on the door as it creaked ever so slowly open, the last bits of sunlight shining through. The crypt looked the same, but she noticed the fresh flowers resting in three spots, "Rumple, who is still here if flowers are being placed on the grave."

"Graves," the voice corrected quickly, "three" the finger tapped out in the different areas, "your mother is below, but I rarely visit her."

Regina inched closer to the flowers and brushed aside the dirt from her father's coffin, the next she approached a large display of forget-me-nots in one vase and willow flowers in another. She took a deep breath and squinted at the name.

_Regina Mills_

_Loved Mother and Friend_

"Oh," Regina tried to breathe, but found her lungs had constricted when faced with her own death.

A loud hum in agreement, "Yeah, the pirate, the thief, and Swan tried to get you to the boat and a bean and plan to escape, but the plan didn't quite work."

"Because you got in the way."

"Well," Rumpelstiltskin nearly purred, "That's an interpretation, the theory was that in killing you the magic for the trigger would be stopped. It was like cutting the red wire or the green wire."

Her eyes moved toward the next bunch of flowers, sprigs of holly, the little bursts of white seemingly illuminating the corner. "Who is that?" Regina fearfully asked.

"You know who it is Regina," the voice stated and then waved encouragingly toward the last grave, "but go ahead and take a look for the full effect."

The moonlight had just crested the window now bathing the chrome in a shimmering light as she read the words a painful cry broke out through the crypt.

_Henry Mills_

_Beloved Son_

Regina turned on the shade, this ghost of Rumpelstiltskin. Her tears made hot tracks down her face as she growled at him, "You could have stopped this, you had the magic to move them. You have always taken everything from my life without a second thought."

"Oh dearest Regina," the hands, catching the moonlight shimmered in specks of silver and gold in front of her, reached for the hood and drew it down.

Her eyes gaped at the new found horror, "No, no-" Regina's hand flew up to her mouth as a strangled sob came out of her. She sounded like a wounded animal. She knew this sound, this was what it sounded like to lose hope. "Emma, no."

"Ah, yeah, the plan," the gold flecks in Emma's hazel eyes shined, "self sacrifice. Savior doing saving, but when it came down to it you should always read the writing on the knife you use to stab someone." Emma's nose crinkled up in disgust, "Buyer beware because there are no refunds for The Dark One."

"But you could have left Emma, you and Henry."

Her head bobbed back and forth in thought, "Yeah, but we would have lost you," the blonde curls muting the seriousness of the plight that was before Regina. "Actually we did. I did."

Emma's hand moved up to brush lightly against Regina's cheek, "I missed you. I've been aching for years."

Closing her eyes Regina granted herself a tiny moment of comfort before her eyes shot open. "I can fix this Emma. I can fix it all."

A resigned shake of the head was her only reply from Emma.

"Just wake me up Emma," Regina smiled through her pain up at her companion, "Wake me up and we can just be Regina and Emma."

She brought her hand up to meet Emma's on her cheek and smiled. "Wake me up and we'll all be together again. I'll save you." She pushed herself up on tiptoes and rested her forehead on Emma's, "I'll save you Emma."

"There it is," Emma crooned lightly.

Regina pulled away, her forehead creasing in confusion, "There what is?"

Beams of light showed the flecks of silver and gold falling away to give way to soft, warm, skin and Emma smiled brilliantly, "Hope."

Regina’s eyes watered as she took in the sight before her, maybe this was a cruel joke of her mind as it tried to make sense of the electricity that had pulsed through her limbs a lifetime ago. She grinned widely trying to take in all of the features that infuriated her from the moment she met Emma, but all she could see was a kind smile.

“You’re annoyingly perfect,” Regina chuckled, “I never told you--”

“You did.” Emma answered, “there was just more emphasis on the annoying part than the perfect part before.”

Leaning in Emma dropped a light kiss on the crown of Regina's head. Both women closed their eyes, taking a deep breath to be content in the moment. Emma then inched closer toward Regina's ear, "Now open your eyes," the whisper floated softly home and Regina nodded in reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Art by** [reginamea](http://reginamea.tumblr.com).  
>   
> 


	5. Chapter Five: The Shard of Hope

Her eyelids flew open, and Regina's pupils ached from the bright sunlight pouring through the window. Blurry, blobs of figures stood around her in clumps of black, reds, and greys. She tried to turn her head, but a scorching pain shot through her limbs.

She had forgotten for a moment that the previous ethereal journey she had been on wasn't tied to this body.

"Emma?" her voice cracked as she blinked forcefully trying to wet her eyes.

Regina felt a hand slip into hers and a soft whispered word hit the air, "Hey."

She smiled and rubbed her chapped lips together trying to work through the cottonmouth feeling, "I woke up. You told me to woke up and I woke up."

"It took you long enough to listen." Emma deadpanned.

"Mmm," Regina nodded, "well I did have to contend with what was, what is, and what will be to get back to  you."

Her vision started to slide together and one Emma-shaped-blob turned into a very Emma-shaped-Emma. "Hi." Regina smiled tiredly.

"So," Emma drew out the word, "did you time travel or fall into a Lewis Carroll book in your dream?"

A bright voice broke in, "Sounds more like Dr. Suess to me."

Regina moved her eyeline to her son, her living and perfectly handsome son, "Henry!"

He grinned at her, dumbstruck at seeing her awake again, "Mom," his face took on a dreadful bout of seriousness in an instant, "don't do that again."

"My little prince declaring a kingdom wide rule?" Regina chuckled as the aches radiated through her chest.

A quick shake of the head was her only warning before he launched himself at both women in an awkward attempt at a group hug, "No, just a mom-wide rule." His chin popped up and he leveled Emma with a gaze, "It goes for you too Emma, it's a mom-wide rule."

Emma's mouth gaped open as she looked at Regina and then back at Henry, "Um, I think kid that mom-wide rules."

"Go for both of us," Regina offered with a calm nod.

Raising her eyebrows in surprise for a moment Emma worried her lip and then felt the smile break out ever so slowly, "They go for both of us."

Emma looked back toward the fatigued woman who woke up on the right side of the bed for once. "You're still you, right?" she questioned hopefully

"You're an idiot."

Nodding Emma seemed convinced, "Sounds about right." She winked quickly at Regina before they were interrupted by a new arrival.

Hook rubbed at the side of his mouth self-consciously, "Not to interrupt this happy family, but we have an issue with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum."

"How did they get here?" Regina questioned as she pushed herself up to rest on her elbows.

"Oh, um no," Hook tilted his head to the side, "pardon the expression. I meant Greg and Tamara. I checked back in our lovely duo and well, they mean to activate that dark crystal of yours love."

"Dark crystal?" Emma asked glancing back at Regina.

"A failsafe," Regina explained quickly, "it was designed in case I lost, but it will destroy everything, everyone. One final act of vengeance."

Charming pushed his chest out, his hands shoving into his jeans pockets, "Okay, how do we stop it?"

Reaching for Henry's hair she smoothed the perpetual moptop into some form of a temporarily tamed beast. She looked at Emma and smiled with kindness, "You don't." She could see the protest already forming on Emma's mouth, "I do."

"Mom!" Henry yelled, "No, you just promised. You _promised_  me!" He flung himself at Regina and hugged her close.

"Henry," Regina pressed her cheek against his head, "I have to fix this, it's my fault. I need to make it better for all of you."

***

It took longer than she had anticipated to change as she could still feel her muscles protesting movement. It felt as if she had run a marathon while being simultaneously used as a body bag for the heavyweight champion of the year. She ached and even more so when she saw Emma studying her as if she was a puzzle. The woman's hand softly fluffed at Henry's hair as he leaned into Emma's side.

"Henry?" Regina called lightly and he moved to her, she could see the argument before he opened his mouth. "No, I'm going to stop this and you're going to go with-" she dug deep into herself as she tried to work through the words, "your grandparents. They'll keep you safe."

His lower lip trembled slightly before his arms flung around her waist, "But who keeps you safe?"

She dropped her cheek to his head and closed her eyes knowing this was for the best, they needed to retreat to Hook's forsaken Jolly Roger in case an escape is necessary. His hold grows tighter around her and she winces from the inkling of pain, but doesn't stop her son. She needs the reason for this fool's mission to be remembered; this is for Henry.

David clears his throat, "Are you ready?"

How kind, Regina realizes as the question is for her and not her son. She looks into his eyes and can understand for a moment why Snow saw the person through the guise of the prince. "Yes, thank you David."

Bustling together they tossed on coats and Regina wrapped Henry's grey and red scarf around his neck, a birthday present she had spent two years knitting - well, more cursing than knitting, but she smiled at him, "Stay warm on the water."

She turned to the countertop as the sound of the door clicked and her shoulders dropped, the energy sapping out of her.

"Hey, Regina," Emma scuffed her boot against the floor, "We don't even know if they're going to really do this so why get all dressed up to go into the mine and be disappointed."

Regina shook her head as she turned to find Emma still in the room, "We have to find them or the device and destroy it or we'll wake up everyday and just wonder."

"We, huh?" Emma asked trying to find any way to talk Regina out of going alone as she insisted.

Regina tossed her hair and sighed, "Figure of speech, I mean the royal we."

"You're full of shit." Emma argued, "I'm coming with you."

"Emma," she softly pleaded.

"Nope, you're using the royal we and I'm royal so, tough lady."

Regina yelled at the retreating form, "Royal we is just one person, me."

"You lost Regina."

She felt the ball of worry in her gut grow and Regina desperately hoped that she had not lost the final battle.

***

They inched down the mine shaft and Regina already could feel the magic permeating the air, the trigger had been activated and she had to figure out how to get Emma to turn around.

As they turned the last corner it hovered above a rock, the pick axe to the side telling the story of how it started, but not when.

"I'm not sure how much time we have left," Regina's voice cracked.

Emma looked at her as if she understood the deeper meaning of her words, "What do we do?"

"You go and start to put together a plan to get everyone to safety, a bean, a portal, a hat--" Regina was cut off quickly by Emma.

"A rabbit, a portkey, a twister?” Emma took in the tilt of Regina’s head and could not believe those were all actual possibilities,  “Jesus Regina, are you saying Harry Potter is real?" Her hands flailed around her head for a moment trying to take in another absurdity, "No, No, I'm staying here."

Regina's mind spun quickly, she was a master of manipulation, she could get her to leave, "Think of Henry."

Emma crossed her arms, anger starting to build, "Why do we always do that?"

"Do what?"

Her finger jutted behind her, "Use Henry as some greater good loophole." She stepped forward toward the trigger and reached for Regina's hand, "I'm not leaving you."

She ached, Regina ached all over and she felt the bottled up emotion threatening to pour over. Grasping at the offered hand Regina squeezed it tightly, "Emma, please. I need you to go. Please." she begged.

Emma shook her head seeming so much younger in the moment. "I just found you," her voice shook.

"Oh, Emma," Regina smiled, "I'm the one who just woke up and here you are the most infuriating woman in the world."

"Wait," Emma leaned back confused, "why are you describing yourself?"

Regina slapped at her shoulder, "I'm trying to emote."

"How about you just tell the truth for once," challenged Emma.

Nodding Regina glanced at the diamond and back at Emma, "I do not fear many things in this life, but the thought of losing Henry and losing you. I am afraid Emma. I destroy everything."

Emma's lower lip jutted out in thought as she let out a note of surprise, "That's convenient because there is this prophecy from some old guy that I pretty much save everyone _and_  everything."

"You're not leaving?" Regina asked with a tinge of hope in her voice.

Shaking her head Emma shrugged, "Nope, now let's cut the red wire."

Regina paused at her words, so reminiscent of her dream, raised her eyebrows and snorted, "You know this requires magic, right?"

Emma tugged on their joined hands causing Regina to bump their shoulders together, "Well damn, what am I supposed to do with all of my hacking skills I've garnered from countless hours of movie marathons and video games?"

Rolling her eyes in a false sense of frustration Regina murmured, "I hate you sometimes."

Another slight tug on her hand and Emma softly called to her, "Hey."

Regina shook her head softly, her hair falling away from her face in a graceful spin. She took a deep breath and locked eyes with Emma. She was closer now, inching in as Emma's eye line dropped to Regina's mouth and then back at her eyes. She could feel the light pressure of lips on her own before they even touched, a soft promise of tomorrow before Emma pulled back and smirked, "I hate you sometimes too."

Shaking her head Regina laughed as they turned back to the trigger, hand in hand.

"Alright, how do we do this?"

Regina stretched her fingers out and then curled them slowly in, centering herself. "Just be Emma and I'll be Regina."

Pushing her weight back and forth on her feet Emma scoffed, "How about a little less vague direction with the magic?"

"Follow my lead."

Emma nodded as they stood opposite of one another as they focused on the diamond hovering before them, "Okay, but next time. I get to lead."

The purple arcs shot out of Regina's hands and Emma raised hers to see the blue surprisingly and easily jumping to life. Magic was at times, simply magical. She watched for any cues from Regina as the magic poured into the trigger. A loud flash of light and a surge of power pushed the women backward as the diamond cracked into pieces and clattered along the mine shaft.

Emma brushed off her pants and rushed to help Regina up from the ground, "Is that it? What are those things; are they dangerous?"

The questions littered around Regina as she chuckled feeling Emma's arm circle around her back, anchoring her to her. Giving her some of her physical strength. "No my dear, those are shards of hope."

Emma nodded as she looked around them, "Can we go get the kid now?"

"I suppose we can."

As they slowly hobbled down the tunnel Emma piped back up, "And pancakes?"

Regina dropped her head onto Emma's shoulder, "I suppose we can."

Taking a deep breath Emma agreed with her father’s earlier statement, she did smell nice, "And live happily ever after?"

Regina glanced up at Emma and looked in her eyes, she didn't ache as much anymore. She smiled, "I suppose we can."

***  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> Feel free to follow me or chat me up on twitter @taintedidealist or on my mostly quiet tumblr /dullsharpie
> 
> And please check out the amazing art made for the fic by [reginamea](http://reginamea.tumblr.com/post/83303286631/swanqueenbigbang-artist-reginamea-dont)


End file.
